Re: orthodox worship

Ron,

Thanks for your response. I know God works in His own way. And, I can only assume He had me to ramble and spill my guts like I did. I appreciate yours and everyone's prayers, and if I have not asked for them, I ask for them now. The battle I am fighting feels like the end all of battles. I've been here before, but not with the mental torment I feel right now.

Like I said, I used to welcome the warfare. I used to fight the battle in prayer, truly believing that as a "son of God" I could, with and thru God, fight and win. I looked for the fight, for the lost souls, for Jesus' sheep.

What happened to change all that, I can't really say. All I know is that I don't feel I have a right to fight the battle anymore, and unfortunately, that battle is for my own soul, not someone else's.

I know I must get back into prayer, and this is the area I am lacking the most in at this time. It is the only place I am safe. But, something is holding me back, myself, guilt, the devil, whatever and whoever, it all sounds like excuses to me, just as I can assume that it sounds like excuses to anyone else.

But, I thank God for my wife, and people like you all who are praying for me and thinking about me. Maybe I can just admit that I need to get off of my lazy backside and pray.

Thanks.

In Christ's Name,

Nick